Secrets Lanzarote Resort & Spa (Only Adults)

“A week in Secrets, Puerto Calero.”

This excellent resort provides all that you need for a wonderfully relaxing holiday. Our accommodation was very comfortable and the food was varied and of consistently high quality. The staff were brilliant and focussed on ensuring that our holiday went smoothly and they did everything asked of th… more

This excellent resort provides all that you need for a wonderfully relaxing holiday. Our accommodation was very comfortable and the food was varied and of consistently high quality. The staff were brilliant and focussed on ensuring that our holiday went smoothly and they did everything asked of them to help make our stay memorable. Full marks!

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“Fantastic staff, great facilities”

From the moment we arrived the staff were amazing, friendly, helpful, big smiles and nothing was too much trouble. We had to change rooms and Konte looked after us with such care , checking in that all was OK everytime he saw us. Great choice of restaurants and every meal was really good. Comfort… more

From the moment we arrived the staff were amazing, friendly, helpful, big smiles and nothing was too much trouble. We had to change rooms and Konte looked after us with such care , checking in that all was OK everytime he saw us. Great choice of restaurants and every meal was really good. Comfortable well equipped and super clean room. A real 5 star holiday!

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“Short family trip”

Exceptional hotel. Excellent value for money never felt for a second we were being ripped off. Drinks and food very favourably priced, in fact comparable to near by marina. Room a little small but well furnished and modern. Lots of options for food at the hotel. Staff very attentive and polite. Lo… more

Exceptional hotel. Excellent value for money never felt for a second we were being ripped off. Drinks and food very favourably priced, in fact comparable to near by marina. Room a little small but well furnished and modern. Lots of options for food at the hotel. Staff very attentive and polite. Loads of sun beds, no early morning rush! Towels good and aplenty. We were BB, breakfast excellent with great choices. Hotel in a great spot for a stroll to the nearby marina. You can also walk to Puerto Del Carmen but tbh honest I wouldn’t bother. Shopping centre is ok but the rest is a bit rough round the edges. I am sure there are some nice areas we didn’t see. Only one real gripe or otherwise would be five star approval for the total - the internet is shocking. It’s ok in the room but on the sun terraces it’s pretty unusable - so get your package sorted before come out!

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“All fur coat and no knickers....”

This hotel certainly looks the part, when you arrive you're greeted by a lovely concierge (Konte) who hands you a glass of bubbles and greets you with a huge smile and a "welcome home" (all the concierge staff are lovely, they are friendly and chatty). The reception is huge with stunning flower arr… more

This hotel certainly looks the part, when you arrive you're greeted by a lovely concierge (Konte) who hands you a glass of bubbles and greets you with a huge smile and a "welcome home" (all the concierge staff are lovely, they are friendly and chatty). The reception is huge with stunning flower arrangements as you enter. The reception is swift to get you checked in and you are shown to your room. (you can also pay an extra £6o to get access to the spa everyday for a week, which i did, although for the holiday price this should be included). The rooms are large and comfortable and the hotel is well maintained and pools are clean. The spa is wonderful, and the staff there are polite, and tell you how to use the circuit, providing you with a towel and explaining where the refreshements are. If i had just experienced the spa i would have rated this hotel 5 stars. However, that's where my glowing review ends. The hotels website states "Our 335 luxury rooms and suites offer a private sanctuary with breathtaking views of the endless blue Atlantic Ocean, ideal for couples looking for a romantic getaway." in my experience the hotel is not luxury, it is comfortable BUT has paper thin walls. You can literally hear next doors conversation, upstairs banging footsteps and even the people across the hall having ... well you can imagine! I also unfortunatley stayed here when the hotel had taken a large hen party booking, which meant that two nights in a row i was woken by cackling and laughing drunk women at 2am, and they must have also decided to move their beds around above me as there was scraping of furniture on the floor. I DID NOT SLEEP! So not a luxury experience nor was it the relaxing hotel the website makes it out to be. I then complained to the hotel and insisted i did not want to be any where near that hen party, all they could offer were suites, at MY expense. As i was by this time very stressed and tired, i took a suite and paid an extra 1/3rd of the price of my holiday, which had been expensive to start due to single person supplement! Once in that suite, the jacuzzi bath didn't work properly, and there was a sewage smell as soon as you opened the balcony door... again...not luxury. Also of note is that if you go half board you can only use one of the restraunts which is buffet style. The website also states here : "Immerse yourself in a first-class dining experience in our gourmet restaurants" As someone who doesn't eat meat, this was not a first class dining experience, it was some boring salad, cold goats cheese (never good - although it had been warmed up at some point) and the same cheeses on rotation, there was barely any dedicated vegetarian dishes, and the signs for many of the dishes are not related to the dish underneath, you have to do a bit of guess work or ask one of the disinterested and busy chefs! Certainly NOT first class. Also the desserts don't taste of anything... just bland mousses that look pretty. It was good for dieting though, i lost 6lbs in weight whilst away for a week! I also had a group of young men swearing and "bro"ing around the pool one of the days, so i had to move sunbeds just to get a bit of peace. If you want sleep, relaxation and luxury, this hotel is not for you. If you are a heavy sleeper, you may be ok, if you are someone who doesn't mind rowdy groups, you might be ok here, but luxury it is not.... and as one of the other solo guests said to me - this hotel is very much "all fur coat and no knickers" - indeed it is! That said i have given it a 3 rating, as the spa was lovely, the staff there are great, i think the reception did try their best and they said they would pass on my feedback about noise... however, other than rebuilding the hotel there's not much to be done about paper thin walls. Would i return? Absoloutly not! For the price i paid in the end i could have gone to the Maldives! I wish i had....

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